Would you use your bonus to pay your own lobola?

Shouldn’t your bonus go towards that dream vacation or designer bag you’ve been eyeing all year? Why spend your own hard-earned money on an old-fashioned custom that seems to suggest you as the woman are being “purchased”?

But then some explain it to be less about being bought by her man and more about both families officially joining together. The cattle or cash shows the in-laws-to-be deeply appreciate you being raised by your parents. 

Okay, fair enough. But just because something is traditional doesn’t make it equal or fair in my book. Let him and his folks come up with the goods! 

You make your own cash; you make your own life decisions – so he and his kin can show YOU the appreciation! That bonus came from your success. 

Imagine if we flipped the script and said a husband-to-be should pay towards his own lobola. We’d be laughed back to the Stone Ages. So why settle for less than being valued as the smart, successful woman you are today? 

I say make your guy step up. And if he can’t put a big bundle of bills on the table for Bogadi, maybe reconsider just who should be putting a ring on it. 

You deserve nothing less than full honour for the queen you already are, my friend. Now go buy yourself something nice with that bonus and raise a glass to know your true worth!